45 Unusual Times the Elusive ‘Florida Man’ Made National HeadlinesBy Garry G
Florida Man Gets Tired of Waiting at Hospital, Steals Ambulance and Drives Home
Let’s face it — the wait at the hospital can be extensive. Often, you’re left sitting in the waiting room for hours before even being seen by a doctor. If you’re like us, you’ve probably thought about just getting up and leaving at least once.
This man had clearly waited long enough; his patience had thoroughly run out. So, like so many of us have wanted to do but never actually done, he turned around and left. Sore stomach be damned. The only problem was that instead of walking, calling a cab, or driving his car home, he decided to steal an ambulance to get himself back.
Florida Man Robs GameStop Wearing A Plastic Bag On His Head
Every good robber knows that they have to conceal their identity. This is usually done by wearing a ski mask or some other kind of disguise that protects their face from being seen on camera or observed by bystanders. While generally not a foolproof way of not getting caught, it is better than going in with no face protection.
Unfortunately, this Florida Man had the right idea but somehow managed to miss the mark. Instead of covering his face, he accentuated it with this rather silly idea — wearing a clear plastic bag to hide who he is. Not only does it look pretty funny, but it totally defeats the point of covering his face. He might as well have gone in without wearing anything at all for how effective this move was.
Florida Man Attacked While Taking Selfie With A Squirrel
Taking selfies with friends is a fun pastime that most of us have participated in once or twice. Selfies with pets are incredibly popular, too, showing off how much our pets mean to us (even if they don’t appreciate having a camera in their face).
This young man took it upon himself to attempt a cute selfie with a squirrel. Bad idea? We definitely think so. Squirrels are cute, sure — but they aren’t all that sweet, with their tendency to throw their food and nip at people. In the end, the Florida Man pictured here was attacked by his unwilling selfie partner, making headlines the next day.
Florida Man Breaks Into Home to Cook Breakfast, Tells Homeowner To “Go Back To Bed”
We’ve all dreamed of someone cooking us breakfast, allowing us to stay nice and cozy in bed while they slave away at the stove. For some of us, it’s a reality, and for others, it’s merely a far fetched hope. Regardless of which group the homeowner affected by this Florida Man fits into, it’s safe to say that he or she was likely stunned.
At some point one morning, a man broke into a Florida homeowner’s home and, like he had lived there his whole life, began to cook breakfast. The homeowner was pretty shocked, to say the least. To add even more intrigue to the situation, the homeowner was told by the Florida Man to “Go back to bed.”
Florida Man Cleanses Local Walmart of Evil Spirits Using Salt
Superstition isn’t a bad thing, and neither is religion. Both have strong points and can be a crucial part of creating a harmonious society. However, religion can also cause religious fanaticism, which can lead to several small and some other much more significant problems.
While we can’t assume that this Florida Man was a victim of religious fanaticism, signs point to it. See, this man took it upon himself to “cleanse” his local Walmart store of evil spirits and demons using a bottle of salt. He spread it in circles around him and chanted, mumbling things about “staying safe” and “purity.”
Florida Man, Shirtless, Fights Tree
When you think of trees, you probably don’t think of them as a nuisance. You likely consider them to be useful — or you might not even ponder about them at all. You most definitely don’t think that they’re worthy opponents for a fistfight, though.
In Florida, however, you can almost guarantee that there’s someone, somewhere who’s had this bizarre consideration. This Florida Man has made headlines for, as witnesses report, aggressively yelling at children before turning his attention to the nearest tree and engaging it in a fistfight. Who won? Our bets are on the tree.
Florida Man Quits Job At Burger King, Steals All of Their Chicken Nuggets
Most of the time, quitting a job is less traumatic than being fired from it. However, it can still leave a sour taste in your mouth — especially if you’re going due to lousy treatment or being overworked. This Burger King employee had had enough of his job and, creatively, took his out.
When he left for the last time, this Florida Man took all of his ex-establishment’s chicken nuggets with him. “Ha! Take that Burger King,” he must have said to himself as he sped off, taking half of the restaurant’s income with him.
Florida Man Breaks Into Jail, Wanted to Hangout With Friends
Have you ever heard of someone breaking into jail? Not likely! Breaking out of jail is one thing, but breaking in is something else entirely. It’s easy to see why someone would attempt a breakout, but an in? Not so easy to understand.
Luckily, this Florida Man made headlines for breaking into a prison, honoring us with a bit of perspective. According to the man, he simply wanted to “hang out with his friends.” Seems innocent enough, right? Sure — but he could have just stopped by on visiting day like everyone else.
Florida Man Hides in Swamp to Evade Police, Gets Stuck and Found By Police Dog
While evading the police isn’t the best idea in itself, hiding in a swamp is an even worse idea. This Florida Man, though, clearly thought that it was an idea worthy of being put into action. After a high-speed police chase through the Florida swamplands, he thought he’d throw police off by hiding — in the swamp.
The swamp proved to be an unwilling accomplice in his evasion, acting like quicksand and effectively cementing him into its clutches. He got stuck rather easily and, for all his effort, was found by police dogs pretty quickly, too. The dog then proceeded to lick his face – yum!
Florida Man Arrested for Riding On A Manatee
There’s nothing better than a ride on a thrilling roller coaster, or a relaxing ride through the countryside on horseback — or is there? As it turns out, there is at least one person in the world who thinks that there is something much more thrilling than a roller coaster ride.
This Florida Man gets his kicks from riding on manatees. Yes, it’s illegal (which is probably where the thrill comes in), and likely not that fast of a ride, but we have to admit that it definitely would be a story to tell your friends.
Florida Man Hoards Stolen Zoo Animals In His Apartment
Renting an apartment in a popular Florida city is expensive. Even the smallest of rentals can break the bank, so many Floridians have roommates. This Florida Man is no exception, as he opened his home to several temporary roommates. However, they aren’t likely to be very helpful with sharing the cost of the rent or contributing much of anything at all.
Why? This man was found hoarding almost a dozen animals that had been stolen from the local zoo. It’s a mystery how he managed to take them without being caught, and even more curious is that he was somehow able to find room for all of them. Talk about a crowded living space!
Florida Man Leaving Strip Club Falls From Truck, Runs Himself Over
We’ve all had one or two bad nights of drinking. You know, the ones where you end up sleeping on someone’s front lawn, with a banana peel stuck to your face, or maybe with a new tattoo or electric blue hair? Yep. It happens to the best of us.
In Florida, one man had a really rough night — so rough, in fact, that it made headlines. This poor Florida Man went to leave a strip club after a night of drinking and, somehow, fell out of his truck. The truck got away from him; it ran over his legs and then proceeded to thunder into a nearby duplex.
Florida Man Attempts To Trade Alligator for Beer
Nothing ruins a party quite like running out of alcohol, a fact that many Floridians know to be true. When they run out, you’d think they’d go to the store and simply buy more — and most do. There are, however, a handful of people who would rather get creative in their quest to replenish their stock
This man is one of those creative souls. Instead of giving the cashier money for his beer, he decided to try and provide them with an alligator. Yep! A real, live, teeth-snapping, jaws-gnashing, alligator from the Florida swamps. Yikes! If we were that cashier, we’d be utterly terrified.
Florida Man Caught Licking Doorknob for Three Hours
The germs that gather on everyday surfaces are, for most people, enough to make them avoid eating food that has fallen on the floor or licking their fingers after touching something. But the Florida Man, as it seems, hasn’t quite gotten the memo that “germs are bad” yet.
One Florida man was caught on security camera having his way with (licking) a doorknob. Yuck! But to make matters worse, he didn’t give the knob a quick lick and run off — instead, he sat and licked the doorknob for three entire hours.
Florida Man Baths in Wendy’s Kitchen Sink, Restaurant Passes Health Inspection
Restaurants put special emphasis on health and cleanliness — especially when an inspection is coming up. The inspection results can mean the difference between the establishment staying open or shutting its doors for good. Generally, all employees working that day are on their best – and cleanest- behavior.
This Wendy’s employee took it one step further. Instead of washing his hands more often and focusing on all the health and safety rules, he opted to wash his entire body — in the sink of his workplace. Now, we don’t know how sanitary that really is, but we definitely applaud him for his effort.
Florida Man Tries to Run to Bermuda, Gets Rescued By Coast Guard (Again)
Try something once and fail; try again. Fail again? Maybe give it one more go. Eventually, though, if you just can’t get it right, no one will blame you for calling it a day and taking your A+ for effort home with you.
Apparently, this Florida Man hasn’t learned this lesson. According to the news article, he’s attempted to “run” to Bermuda in a giant inflatable bubble more than once. Each time he’s gotten himself stuck and needed to be rescued by the Coast Guard, they likely know him as “the man who can’t make it to Bermuda.”
Florida Man Wears F*ck The Police Shirt To Court, Still Wins His Case
Now, we don’t know about you, but we find this instance of the Florida Man to be somewhat entertaining. Maybe it’s the blatant disregard this man has for who’s around him or the confidence that he seems to ooze — either way, though, we got a good chuckle out of this one.
Wearing his “F*uck The Police Shirt” this Florida man marched into court to defend his case. We don’t know what he was defending himself against, but it must have been something minor, seeing as he won the case. As for his shirt, well, it went on to make headlines, as you can see.
Florida Man Arrested for Giving People Wedgies Outside Theater
Imagine this: you’ve just seen the latest sequel to your favorite movie. It was fantastic; you ate tons of buttery popcorn, refilled your drink three times, and somehow managed not to miss even a second of your movie by running to the bathroom.
You come outside, unsuspecting, and are surprised with the biggest wedgie of your entire life. Whoa! Who did that? Well, it was likely the Florida Man who was caught giving people unwarranted wedgies outside of a theater in the Tampa Bay area.
Florida Man Arrested for Assaulting A Boy With A Taco Bell Burrito
How does this happen? We don’t know, but apparently it does. Where does this happen? You guessed it — Florida! One Tampa Bay area man got so angry for one reason or another that he decided to assault a young boy with his greasy burrito.
First of all, that’s a waste of a perfectly good burrito. Secondly, what damage was he hoping to inflict using a soft food item as a weapon of assault? It’s tough to wrap the mind around this headline, but in Florida, anything goes.
Florida Man Performs Strip Tease for Couple in Restaurant, Threatens To Fight Husband
What goes better with a tasty plate of Japanese food than a striptease? Tough luck finding anything! Yeah, right — in all seriousness, an unexpected striptease probably isn’t what the poor couple who was struck by the antics of this Florida Man had ordered.
While eating, a couple was approached by a large man. Not only did this man interrupt their meal, but he then began to remove his clothes! Upon being told that he wasn’t welcome at the table, the man threatened to fight the husband, whose eyes were likely burning in horror.
Florida Man Returned to Jail After Failing to Pay Taxi Fare When Going Home From Prison
Leaving prison is supposed to be a joyous event, but it can be made difficult when you have been released with nothing more than the clothes on your back and perhaps a cellphone that was disconnected long before. How do you get home?
If you’re lucky, friends or family can retrieve you. If you’re not, though, you’ll either have to walk or, like this Florida Man, take a taxi and hope you can afford to pay the fare. Spoiler: He couldn’t pay it and was returned to jail for ditching out on his fare.
Florida Man Charged With Assault for Throwing Alligator Through Wendy’s Drive-thru Window
There must be something in the Florida air that makes residents of the sunshine state prone to using alligators as weapons. Over the years, there have been countless reports of people attempting to harm others using the animal and even the occasional story of an attempt to use them as currency.
This report was made when a Florida Man tried to throw an alligator through the drive-thru window at his local Wendy’s. We don’t have much backstory on this event, but the headline is enough to make us shake our heads. If he had a complaint, things might have gone his way had he simply brought the matter to the manager instead of breaking out his alligator.
Florida Man Faces Two Weeks Behind Bars for Eating Evidence In Courtroom
Ah, Florida Man, were you hungry? You must have missed an entire day’s worth of meals to work up an appetite big enough that you found paper to be appealing to your palette. If eating paper wasn’t enough, you whipped out your impromptu meal during a court session.
In actuality, the man pictured here is a Florida police officer who’s now facing possible jail time for doing away with evidence during court. He was supposed to provide the court with the anonymous tip written on the paper in his hand but choose to eat the evidence instead.
Florida Man Calls 911 When PlayStation Stops Working
For anyone who’s a serious gamer, a failing network connection is utterly devastating. Lag and poor connections have been the cause of many “rage quits” and broken units. Luckily, no one’s ever called 911 for this problem! Until now….
Okay, maybe not. A Florida man, who was way too wrapped up in his game, dialed 911 in a panic when the PlayStation network began to have connectivity issues. Unfortunately, we don’t know how the operator responded, but we can guarantee that no emergency services were dispatched for this call.
Florida Man Attacks Walmart Employees With Bag of Chips
Like alligators, food is a popular weapon in Florida. It won’t do much harm, but it can and will make an absolute mess. In this case, the food of choice was a bag of potato chips, and then man was a 61-year-old with a severe temper.
When asked to leave the store, this Florida Man got a little bit angry. He reacted to the request by violently hurling the bag of chips he was trying to hold at the cashier’s chest. No chips or cashiers were harmed in this incident, luckily.
Florida Man Hangs From Traffic Lights, Defecates On Cars That Pass Underneath
Just when we think the Florida Man has outdone himself, he takes things to new heights. Literally. This man managed to get himself high enough into the air that he could swing from traffic lights, as cars, trucks, and minivans sped by beneath him.
To add insult to injury, he wasn’t just swinging harmlessly and causing a scene. Oh no, he was attempting to defecate on those who passed underneath him. Yuck! We’ll never fear being pooped on by birds without getting that image in our heads again.
Florida Man Kidnaps Scientist In Attempt To Make Dog Immortal
It’s no secret that humans have an extraordinary bond with their pets. If you’re a dog or cat owner, you definitely know what we’re talking about. You’d do anything for your furry, four-legged friend, and you’d do it without hesitation.
That’s what makes the circle of life so hard. When it’s your pet’s turn to pass, it can feel like your heart is breaking. But what if your pet could be immortal? This Florida Man kidnapped a scientist to entertain that very idea.
Florida Man Arrested for Smelling Toes of Library Goers
Have you ever been afraid of a random man smelling your toes under the table? No? Us either. For residents in South Florida, though, this fear is all too real after a man grabbed headlines for smelling the toes of unsuspecting library visitors.
What strikes us as odd about this is the fact that, in order to smell people’s toes, he would have had to have been low to the ground — likely crawling on the floor, which would draw attention. So, how did he manage to evade detection and sniff toes? It’s beyond us entirely.
Florida Man Charged With DUI While Riding On Lawnmower
The good old “Florida man arrested for DUI” is a story that’s been told millions of times, but it becomes a real #FloridaMan situation when you add a lawnmower into the mix. A 68-year old man was arrested after crashing his lawnmower into a police vehicle.
Upon further inspection into the situation, Haines City police determined that not only was the man clearly in over his head with his lawnmower, but we were also drunk. For that, he received a DUI and an official spot on our list.
Florida Man Wears Mop On His Head Looking for Eggs, Terrifies Neighbors
With the arrival of January comes the arrival of thoughts about Halloween — or, at least, for this man it does. One January night, neighbors of this Florida Man were surprised with a visit from their mop-wearing neighbor. Out looking for eggs to borrow, he went from door to door.
Doesn’t seem too weird, right? Sure — but it gets worse. While looking for his eggs, he was sporting a mop hat or, as his neighbors called it, “a mop on his face like a mask.” His odd mask combined with persistent doorbell ringing and muttering earned him a trip to the police station.
Florida Man Uses Adult Toy to Fend Off Police
So, right off the bat, this headline gives us plenty of amusing mental images. The posted mugshot of this Florida Man further adds to our mental montage, as we can easily place him at the scene of the crime. In our mind, we see him swinging a large adult toy of a particular shape at police.
What’s less clear in our minds is why, exactly, he thought that said toy would be a suitable weapon against armed officers who were only trying to escort him off the property he was trespassing on. The police on scene likely committed this arrest to memory — it really is a once in a lifetime event.
Florida Man Lets 12-year Old Drive His Jeep
Shocked? Don’t worry! This headline shocked us, too. We were so intrigued that we had not only to add it to our list, but also look into the whole story in an attempt to give this outrageous headline a bit of context.
We couldn’t find all of the details, but we did manage to dig deep enough that we now know what was going on in the mind of this Florida Man. Long story short, he wanted to be a “cool dad” by allowing a 12-year old to drive his jeep. The child in question was not his child, and he had, allegedly, been drinking.
Florida Man Arrested for Stealing Neighbor’s Underwear from Garage Repeatedly
There’s generally nothing appealing about a pair of someone else’s underwear. Point blank, this is a fact that is agreed upon by most of the world’s population. Someone who disagrees, though, is apparently a Florida Man — go figure.
Since you’ve read the headline, you know exactly what he did to earn himself the mugshot included above. We wonder if he was arrested for the theft of it or for the probable break-ins he kept committing to obtain the underwear.
Florida Man Gets Sentence for Cashing The Social Security Checks of His Dead Mother
There’s a saying that would be quite fitting for how disappointed this man’s mother would be with him if she knew what he had done. The term is: “rolling in her grave” — in other words, she would be furious and upset.
Her son capitalized on her passing by cashing her government-issued Social Security Checks for more than two decades! He did this for 23 years before being caught and sentenced to serve five months in prison, as well as ordered with repaying the money he used.
Florida Man Offers Drive-thru Botox Service To Residents In Quarantine
Residents quarantined in Florida due to Covid-19 now have no reason to worry about the return of their laugh lines or depth of their crow’s feet. Botox has made its return, despite the current world circumstances — and it’s being offered as a drive-thru service.
Luckily, the Florida Man offering this convenient new service is someone who’s trained to do it. If he were just an average Joe looking to capitalize on the collapse of small businesses, this drive-thru could be a genuinely terrible idea. As it stands, it’s definitely interesting, to say the least.
Florida Man Who Believes Covid-19 Is Fake Catches The Virus, Admits He Was Wrong
The initial Covid-19 outbreak from earlier this year has sparked plenty of conversation and debate among the world’s population. Most people take the threat seriously, airing on the side of caution even if they have a low risk of contracting the virus.
Those who believe that the virus is fake and/or a conspiracy of some sort, have generally gone about their lives as if nothing as changed. For this Florida Man, not being cautious came back to bite him in the butt. Since catching the virus, he’ also admitted that he might have been wrong in his belief.
Florida Man Calls 911, Reports Self Drunk Driving
Drunk driving is a serious problem. It’s dangerous and reckless, while also being highly illegal. There have been numerous cases of Florida police being called on drunk drivers for their own safety (and for the safety of those around them, too!).
One particular drunk driving report had police scratching their heads. The caller was obviously intoxicated and was calling to report that he was driving under the influence and needed to be stopped. Subsequently, he was arrested and charged with a DUI, making headlines for his honesty.
Florida Man Arrested for Opening Fake Clinic, Posing As Doctor
You might have heard about the man who pretended to be a doctor and actually treated patients. But did you know that he was a Florida Man? Indeed! The man in question is 18-years old and from Florida, of course.
Not only did he successfully pass as a doctor, but he also opened his own office! An incredible feat for someone barely out of high school and with no real medical education. The police likely asked how he did it but chose not to disclose that information, as to avoid copycats from popping up.
Angry Florida Man Bursts Into Exes Delivery Room, Tries To Fight New Boyfriend
Deliveries are supposed to be peaceful and private. But in the case of his ex-girlfriend, this Florida Man decided that her birth should be anything but the serene situation she surely envisioned and planned for as part of her preparing for the new arrival.
Fueled by anger and a fit of blind jealousy, this Florida Man burst into his ex’s delivery room mid delivery. He then tried to start a fight with her new boyfriend after assaulting the pregnant mother-to-be by kicking her in the chest.
Florida Man Arrested After Throwing Glass Eye At Hospital Staff
Bringing to light the truth behind the saying “anything can be used as a weapon,” this Florida Man was arrested for using his glass eye as his weapon of choice. When the event occurred, he was being evaluated at a medical center.
For some reason or another, he got the bright idea to remove his eye. He was warned against this action by the attending nurse; but he ignored her and whipped his eyeball at the medical team. Since he was already facing battery charges, this event was like the nail in his coffin.
Florida Man Dives Into Fish Tank At Bass Pro Shop
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to take a dip in the large, display fish tanks like those found at restaurants, hotels, and other businesses? We haven’t — but some people clearly have. This man is one of those people.
Entering the store, this Florida Man made a quick jump over the fence that surrounds the establishment’s aquarium. He jumped headfirst into the water, lingered below the surface for a few minutes, and then exited without explanation. A video of the event was posted to Facebook.
Florida Main Claims People Were Eating His Brains, Leads Police On Golf Course Chase
The classic highway police chase has gotten an upgrade courtesy of the Florida Man. Introducing the golf course chase, which is what happened when police were forced to follow an eccentric man who was convinced that people were eating his brains.
The man used a stolen Community Watch vehicle to, as we assume, try to escape the people “eating his brains.” He swerved through numerous backyards before ending up on a golf course, where he narrowly missed unsuspecting golf players who jumped to get out of his way.
Florida Man Thinks He Stole Opioids, Steals Laxatives Instead
Karma has a funny sense of humor, with many of her jokes coming in the form of a severe proverbial butt-kicking for those who do wrong. You’ve likely been a victim of karma once or twice, as we all have, but laughed it out and chalked it up to nothing more than getting what you deserved.
This Florida Man got precisely what he deserved after he stole pills from a lockbox belonging to his roommate, who suspected him of stealing his pain medication. Initially, he thought they were opioids but quickly learned that they were nothing more than Equate brand laxatives. His roommate had switched the pills.
Florida Man Locks Keys In Car So Police Can’t Search It
Once you’ve been told that you’re about to be searched, most of us just accept it and step away from the vehicle to let the police get on with it. If you put up a fight, they’re still going to search the car – with or without your cooperation – so why bother?
The Florida Man above didn’t bother to object. He did, however, try to prevent police from gaining access to his vehicle by intentionally locking his keys inside before he got out. As you can imagine, this tactic didn’t work and they got their search one way or another.