40+ Grocery Items We Don’t Expect To See When Browsing The IslesBy Liezel L
Admit it. There are times when you go into a grocery thinking, “I’ll be out in 15 min tops” and yet you end up spending a complete hour or more because suddenly, the aisles and their shelves become a wonderland of all things interesting. Oddly enough, there’s also just a different kind of comfort in mindlessly strolling down the aisles that we can’t explain. Sometimes, it pays off and you find this new great find that becomes your new obsession. Other times, you discover all the weird things groceries keep on their shelves that absolutely nobody asked for, and yet are there. However, some of the items make for great entertainment. Because you just can’t understand how they ended up there! Here’s a collection of supermarket finds that kind of scares us and makes us wonder why in the world they were created in the first place.
Honey-roasted peanuts, chocolate chip bacon cookies, chicken and waffles, fries, and ice cream – those are only some of the best food combinations that prove just how satisfying the combination of sweet and savory is. There are times though when people should really tone down experimenting with these two flavors.
This monstrosity is as unappetizing as it gets. How do you even cook it? The gummies will just melt and create this gooey mess with the meat which we don’t even want to imagine what the taste is like. Bottom line is, whoever made this should have just left the desert and the main course to their own corners of the table.
Crossed the line
Pumpkin spice stuff gets a lot of criticism, but we got to admit, there’s a lot of pumpkin spice stuff out there that are just so good. We’re definitely fans of lattes, muffins, pies, ice cream, muffins, and all those other dessert items. We also have to admit though that we have to draw the line with pumpkin spice somewhere and it seems that we just found it.
We get that they wanted to put two good things together and expected them to live in harmony, but this one is far from that. We don’t think anyone would willingly enjoy something like this unless, of course, they’re one of those people with a weird taste in food.
The salad that wants to hurt you
Salads come in all kinds of types and mixes. Some people even try pushing the boundaries of what is considered a salad. After all, it is just a couple of ingredients tossed in together. That doesn’t mean, however, that you can just toss absolutely anything together and call it a salad.
We’re pretty sure that a lot of avid salad eaters are feeling offended by this “salad.” We can barely see what is in it. All it reminds us of are those green slimy things that come out of science labs in kids’ cartoon shows that are the very opposite of what you’d call appetizing.
Usually, when you hear nuggets, you imagine crunchy, savory, delicious chicken, right? That’s what nuggets are supposed to be – unhealthy but oh-so-delicious pieces of chicken covered in flour. You can dip them in so many sauces too! Without the chicken, those are not nuggets.
If you take away the chicken, you take away the soul and essence of nuggets. So please, don’t get our hopes up by putting “nuggets” in the name, then bashing them on the wall by serving us meatless substitutes that don’t even compare to one of the best comfort foods of all time. That is just cruel!
There must be some confusion here
We know that in the past, companies, and brands loved dipping their toes into multiple rings to corner the market so there’s always that weird crossover in their histories, but this one is just one we can’t accept. Beef lasagna and Colgate just don’t seem to fit in the same sentence.
This must be one hell of a confusing thing to eat for your brain. On one hand, you know you’re eating lasagna, but on the other hand, you’re expecting the fresh minty taste of the toothpaste. We also can’t help but wonder if this lasagna is really good for the teeth. Is this the plan here Colgate?
The boldness of it
In all our years on this earth and with all the things we’ve seen on the internet that have messed us up, we have never seen anything as outrageous and bold as this product. This one is either for the brave of heart or for those who have completely given up on caring.
If you purchase a can of mints that also taste like onions, it only shows everyone that you don’t have a flying care in the world what happens to your breath afterward. It’s a bold and daring move to make, and we applaud you.
Not everyone appreciates ranch, but we can confidently tell you that it is a heaven-sent product. Need to make that burrito bowl a lot tastier? Add some ranch. Want to make your burger taste better? Put a little bit of ranch. Trust us, the ranch can make a lot of things better. That doesn’t give anyone the pass to make a ranch-flavored soda though.
Just thinking about it makes us want to gag. We just can’t imagine chugging an ice-cold bottle of sparkly ranch dressing soda after having some pot luck or burger without wanting to throw up everything we just ate. We can only hope that they’ve incinerated the recipe to this.
Dessert from hell
If you really want to disappoint someone, this is what you give them. Then, watch as they excitedly bite or lick the ice cream and wait for the horror to dawn on their faces as they realize that you’ve just given them an abomination for dessert.
We’ve seen some pretty bad and questionable desserts that are usually the result of crazy experiments, but this just takes the cake for the cruelest desert (and joke) on earth. It also kind of makes us suspicious of all-white and creamy-looking desserts.
How exotic do you want your salad?
We’ve never heard of exotic salads ever before in our lives, but the first thing that comes to mind with those words are exotic fruits or veggies that you won’t usually get in your usual grocery. Apparently, though, we missed the memo that peas and carrots also belonged in that category. Oops.
We’re not sure if the person labeling these just hasn’t seen carrots and peas in their life, or if they were just really desperate to somehow make the product appetizing. Honestly, it really isn’t helping especially with the salad looking like that.
The PB&J is a classic sandwich, and everyone has their very own way of making it. Some like keeping the jam in the middle, some like a little bit more peanut butter, while others just like doing it the traditional way. Never have we ever seen anybody sticking it in a can, though.
We don’t even get the logic behind this creation. There aren’t any additional bonuses to it either…how is it special? It’s really is just a PB&J in a can. We’re not sure what the creators were thinking, but we’re not falling for it.
You’ll see canned beans, dried beans, beans in cups, and even just beans in baskets, but one thing you’ll rarely see is beans smushed into a ball and sold at the grocery. This one looks like beans that were played with by a five-year-old and wrapped in tight plastic.
We know it’s still beans, but for some reason, the fact that it’s all smushed up like that and tossed on a grocery shelf makes it look a lot less appetizing, and even a bit offensive. It’ll be good to chuck at any idiot that’s annoying you though.
Just one cheese please
Nowadays, you can see a lot of things packed in singles at the grocery. After all, not all people need whole packs of spring onions, ham, or whatever you need. Some actually just need that one piece, like a stalk or a little quarter of something to complete their dish. This one is going overboard though.
What in the world are you going to do with one single slice of cheese much less one that’s already missing at least a quarter of it given those holes? And why in the world would you buy this slice for a dollar? Please tell us nobody actually bought this.
At first glance, this seems like a good idea. Casseroles are usually delicious. Doritos are yummy, too. But then, put them together, and they sound like something served in a world where an unhealthy lifestyle is a goal or aspiration.
We also have to wonder what else is in that Dorito casserole. Is it other chips and snacks? Is it miscellaneous meat? Is it something we can stomach to eat? We’ll never know. If anyone dares to order a heaping of this, we pray for your stomach and your bathroom.
How do they call this dessert?
Desserts are precious. They’re the perfect end to a meal, and since they’re either the last hope to make a meal better, the cherry on top of a delicious meal, they should be made with love. This one right here doesn’t look like it’s made with love.
We know Kale has health benefits and all that, but kale is not a dessert. The place it should be is farthest away from dessert. And if you insist on putting it in desserts like ice cream that are supposed to be filled with all that sweet goodness, we need to have a long talk.
How bold and brave
Marmite. We’ll never understand why the Austrailians love it so much. It’s just so intense, and one bite is enough to let the flavor linger in our mouths for hours. Still, some people absolutely go crazy over it, and we have a suspicion that it’s one of those people who invented this madness.
Someone really said, “Why do I have to keep buying my bread and marmite separately? If there’s strawberry flavored or chocolate bread, then why not marmite bread?” and actually had their idea come to life. Now, we’re wondering what the reception was to these controversial products.
Can’t have too many sauces
This sandwich may look like there’s nothing wrong with it, but trust us, there’s something very wrong here. Whoever made the decision that one sauce isn’t enough and slathered it in not one, not two, but three condiments is really thinking outside the box, to say the least.
It would have been fine if the condiments worked well together, but we doubt honey, mustard, and chocolate work all that well together. And for some reason, the hot tea as a drink kind of adds to how unappetizing this whole meal looks. Sorry, not sorry.
Cheetos + mac and cheese
Oddly enough, this combination right here doesn’t immediately want to make us recoil in disgust. It is actually quite interesting because to some degree, it can work. You get the crunchy exterior of a hot Cheeto and the cheesy gooey interior of mac and cheese.
Honestly, it doesn’t sound that bad. That doesn’t mean we’ll be adding this to our weekly grocery lists if we had the chance though. One try is probably enough. Then again, who knows? Mac and cheese and Cheetos are pretty addictive all on their own. Put them together and anything can happen, right?
Dinner For One
Have you ever tried ordering take-out for a chicken meal or something like that only to find just one or two measly pieces of whatever you’re supposed to be having? It’s pretty disappointing, right? Well, this product disappoints way earlier in the game, so it won’t hurt as much.
No matter how we think of it, we can’t come up with one good reason why anyone thought it’s a good idea to sell shrimp like this. Is it for a mouse? Is it an exotic kind of small shrimp? Did it touch some kind of holy water? Please tell us it’s something not too stupid.
A crime against sushi
Sushi lovers know all to well that sushi is an art that has been perfected over years and years of tradition. You don’t just slap on raw fish, rice, and vegetables, and call it a day. That’s a disgrace much like this creation.
This thing doesn’t even deserve to have the word sushi anywhere near it. It’s just disrespectful to the dish. Plus, we shudder to even think of how that raw fish tastes on bread after being in that package for hours.
Okay. We’re not completely mad at this one. After all, there’s this trend of people using donuts instead of usual burger buns going around. It seems only right that there’s donut-shaped meat to complement it, right? It just looks so wrong, though.
If we’re going to start accommodating to the bun though, does that mean that they’re going to start cutting up the lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, and all other stuff into donut shapes too? As fun as that sounds though, we’d much rather have those extra two bites of meat and other good stuff rather than the donut hole, please.
Not looking too hot
Usually, manufacturers use this packaging below with the window thingy to display the product inside and all its glory to hopefully entice customers to buy it. Unfortunately, it had just the opposite effect for this weird pulled pork thing.
There is no kinder way to say it, but this thing looks exactly like the kind of thing you’d see getting mopped up or getting flushed down the toilet. If they really wanted to sell this, they should have just kept it a surprise.
New way to serve potatoes
At first glance, we were sure this was another kind of ridiculous gimmick thought of by manufacturers to try and sell something so common as potatoes for more than they’re worth, but worry not! Those aren’t actually real potatoes. They’re just treats made to look like potatoes.
Now, we don’t know the reason why anyone would want their treats to look like potatoes, but these would be quite funny to give to someone as a gift. Just imagine the puzzled look on their faces as they try to figure out why in the world you stuffed potatoes in a fancy box and give it to them.
The can ruins it all
We love bread, and we’ll take it in all shapes and sizes. One thing we simply cannot accept, however, is putting bread in a can. There is just something about cans that tarnishes the bread and makes it a lot less appetizing than it should be.
We do admit that that brown bread doesn’t look too bad. It looks like a cake, and if we just close our eyes and forget that it came sliding out of a can, we might even enjoy a bite or two. Seriously though, there is just no sense in canning bread, so can we just stop trying to make it happen?
We love how all these innovative people keep trying to find ways to add more veggies or fruits into all kinds of food because honestly, we really don’t get enough of them. We might have a little problem with this concoction though.
We don’t think it’s fair to cram in something like spinach into a delightful treat like a muffin. They can cram it into anything else, but please leave the treats alone. We still deserve some of that untarnished goodness in our lives.
Dinner is looking pale
Gordon Ramsay would freak out at this sorry excuse for a chicken mignon. Not only is it looking a little too pale for its own good, but it also just doesn’t have that appeal that raw chicken mignon should have, or are we the wrong ones here?
Rather than making us want to take it home and dress it up and treat ourselves to a fancy dinner, this chicken mignon just makes us want to fight. Plus, we’d much rather leave our disappointment in the grocery rather than take it home with us, thanks.
Is it still even haggis?
The entire point of haggis is all its meaty contents. Traditionally, it’s made by packing sheep’s intestine with its organs that have been mixed with certain spices before it’s boiled. Scots take it seriously, so we’re wondering what their reaction to this would be.
Some vegetarians out there can’t really seem to let go of Haggis and have tried to recreate the dish in their own way. As much as we’re skeptical about it, we have to admire the effort. Get that Haggis!
Shady peanut butter
Although the words “peanut butter replacement” already sound a little strange to us, it’s not even that that makes us not want to reach for this product. There’s just so much going on on that label that the noise really puts us off.
For one, what’s with the creepy-looking kids who look like they’re brainwashed and terrified? Then, what’s with the super long title? Sorry, but good branding really is part of product appeal, and this does not have that. We’d much rather have our usual peanut butter, please.
For all you sensitive eaters out there who can quickly get turned off by food from its color, this product is definitely not for you. One moment your creamy pudding might be looking delicious, and the next minute, it can look like it has been thrown up by your dog.
Then again, if you think about it, it’s kind of a fun product. We know kids will absolutely love it as well as adults who love to have a little bit more fun. Just imagine all the pranks you can pull off with this one, especially on Halloween.
We know that people have been coming up with so many coffee replacements lately, but never have we been more doubtful with anything than with this mushroom coffee, especially given the strange history of mushroom-based drinks. It looks like coffee, yes, but we need more than the look.
To each their own but for us, nothing could really replace the rich essence of coffee beans. We also doubt mushroom coffee could give us the same effects those beans do. So if this mushroom coffee takes over, well, good luck to every coffee addict out there.
Oh, you’re so cheesy
When we ask for extra cheesy mac and cheese, we expect the cheese to already be in the mixture. We’re definitely not expecting four additional slices of cheese on top of the whole thing. That’s just kind of dissappointing.
We know this still works and it does technically make the dish extra cheesy, but we’re simple creatures okay. We know what we want. If we’re paying $10 for that box, we’d want our creamy, artisanal cheese already mixed in with our mac.
When food and art collide
Fancy plated dishes, extremely detailed fruit carvings, human cake replicas – these all prove that food and art can produce some of the most beautiful matches out there. And well, with art, it’s a very subjective experience for everyone.
We’re pretty sure this Picasso tried his best. It’s not so easy getting such thin slices of carrots, pickles, and eggs, all on one plate you know? And just look at how clean that packaging is. It’s definitely a masterpiece in its own right.
Not that jiggle
Never have we ever heard someone say that they’d want jello in their chicken. People want pure meat and chicken, and jello does not do any justice even if it is just a filler ingredient. Why would anyone ruin chicken like that anyway?
Now, we’re wondering how exactly they make these chicken wings. The images coming into our heads are kind of disturbing and with the questions we have, we don’t want to know much about it at all. The salt and pepper might be pushing it, but we’d much rather have that than the jello.
Feeling guilty or not
When we eat meat, we just enjoy the taste, the way it’s cooked, and all the good feelings it brings us, right? We don’t usually think about the animals that were slaughtered just to get us this meat unless you come face to face with it in any way, of course.
Sadly, there is a reason the food chain exists, and while this pig ham sculpture might bring up a tiny amount of guilt in us, it actually makes the ham look better in the eyes of hungry people, plus we won’t say no to a good heaping plate of ham any day. Props to whoever made this, though.
Can guac be truly replaced?
Chances are you’ve never ever heard of Brusselmole before, but just by its name, we think you can work out what it’s made of. It looks just like everybody’s favorite guac dip, but we’re not sure it’s on the actual level as guac.
Before you judge though, it doesn’t taste as bad as it sounds. At the very least, it’s not objectionable thanks to the beans and the cream. Will it be replacing our favorite guac during movie nights though? Most probably never.
Not real coffee but still
Much like most coffee lovers out there, we can never say that we are tired of the taste of coffee. It’s one of the things we look for every day. There are times though when we feel guilty about the amount of caffeine we pump into our bodies, so this product might not be the worst idea.
Think about it. You’re getting the refreshing quality and feeling of water and your taste buds get a break while still getting that kick that you look for in coffee. Now, this is an alternative we might be able to get behind.
Dream vome true
Okay. To whoever thought of this product, you are a genius! We are not ashamed to say that we’d pick up more than one bag of this from the shelves and just go to town on them at home. And who says we need milk?
Much like a little kid digging into a bag of popcorn, we’d shove our fists into this bag and just shove handfuls of it into our mouths. Will we feel sick of all the sugar? Probably. Will we regret our decision to eat it? Never.
Care to explain what in the world it is?
See, this is why we have trust issues with a lot of products and companies nowadays. They put one thing in the name, but they mean another thing and we, the consumers, are left confused and sometimes, cheated. We will never know.
We got to admire the creativeness of whoever came up with that name though, sidestepping copyright laws and all that. Still, if they’re selling something called something like this with a crazy name, we hope it’s at least better than the original.
Taking it too far
We appreciate that people nowadays are really taking into account the amount of food we waste on a daily basis. So now, we actually see people coming up with ways to use peels, stalks, and all that. We think this one has gone a little too far though.
We know that people pickle a lot of strange things, but this is just not acceptable. Yes, watermelon rinds contain some nutrients and yes, they’re edible, but we don’t think we’re at the point where we’d willingly snack on them yet.
Dodging that copyright
With all the products coming out in the market right now and with all the crazy things people come up with, it can be hard to come up with something original so manufacturers just make away with the branding, dancing around copyright laws.
It’s like this one is saying, “Hey there. I’m Goldfish’s close cousin. We’re so similar that our parents used to hang out. If you close your eyes, you also won’t notice the difference.” Now, we don’t want to play brand favorites, but there is such a thing as brand loyalty sometimes.
Pringles x Ariel
If you love Asian food, then you’ll know just how addictive dried seaweed is. You can put it on your rice, noodles, or you can just eat it on its own. It’s just so good which makes us so curious about these seaweed and salt flavored Pringles.
If they really got that umami-dried seaweed taste down, then this could actually be pretty good. Add in the crunch of those potato crisps, and we’re down to snack on this anytime and get a taste of the sea wherever we are.