45 Doctor’s Office Experiences We Wouldn’t Wish On Anyone

We’re back with another compilation of tweets from Jimmy Fallon’s #Hashtag segment. Every once in a while, comedian and talk show host Jimmy Fallon sends a tweet aimed at his followers, asking them to share their personal stories with him according to the week’s hashtag. Jimmy then reads the funniest and most interesting ones on The Tonight Show. These hashtag challenges have received so much feedback every time that most of Jimmy’s calls for hashtags even went trending on Twitter! This time around, we’re sharing with you 45 weird doctor experiences, as told by Jimmy Fallon’s Twitter followers. Because no, going to the doctor’s is not just a “get what you need and get out” situation. Sometimes, it is a really memorable moment…

Drop the pants

Depending on what you’re going to the doctor for, doctor’s appointments usually entail some sort of undressing. Whether it’s your top or your pants you need to take off, it’s a pretty normal procedure. But it’s understandable if some people may be uncomfortable with it.

This Twitter user is pretty much expecting having to take their pants off. But their doctor seems to think that his patients would put up a fight. As if this patient was going to say no, and there would have to be an argument. Maybe this doctor has just experienced a difficult patient right before this one.

My doctor is an elf

Okay, this isn’t true. This Twitter user’s doctor is actually not an elf. Elf is just his middle name. We would like to question the question: is it the doctor himself that is weird, or is it the doctor’s parents?

This doctor obviously didn’t have a say in what his middle name would be. He just has to live the rest of his life in ridicule because his parents named him Elf. So maybe it’s not the doctor who is weird…

Trying to lighten the mood

Sometimes, the patient isn’t the only person coming into an appointment nervous. The doctor might be dealing with some nerves too. It’s not that they’re not confident in doing their jobs. But some procedures are just more awkward than most.

This doctor was probably just trying to lighten the mood. A Pap smear is, after all, a pretty invasive test. Maybe he was trying to make his patient feel less awkward. But in the end, he actually made things lot more uncomfortable.

Eye contact

As a patient, you would want your doctor to be calm, confident, and reassuring as they give you your diagnosis. Whether it’s good news or bad news, you want to somehow come away from the appointment believing that it’s not all that bad.

It’s kind of difficult to be convinced of anything your doctor is saying if they never make eye contact. So is it actually good news or bad news? Are you going to be okay? If so, why did they look nervous about it?

Dr. James Bond, orthopedic

This patient has gotten it all wrong. The hashtag was supposed to be about your weird doctor. Being treated by an orthopedic called James Bond isn’t weird! In fact, it actually makes for a good story. That’s why it makes our list.

It really makes you think, doesn’t it? There are so many James Bonds out there living under the shadow of the 007. But this doctor doesn’t only have the name in common. He’s also a hero who saves patients daily.

Doctor or life coach?

Don’t you just love it when your doctor doesn’t prescribe you any meds or physical therapy? It’s almost like you can walk away from the appointment feeling like there’s nothing wrong with you. But when your doctor prescribes a mantra before bed…

Are you sure you went to an orthodontist? Or did you actually see a life coach instead? We’ve never heard of any MDs telling their patients to recite mantras before bed. It’s almost like this Tweeter went to therapy instead of a medical clinic.

Well that’s reassuring

Patients put full faith in their doctors. They kind of have to—their lives are in their doctors’ gloves and sanitized hands. But when the doctor starts listening to their symptoms and then inputting them in an iPhone app, it makes the patient question their decision.

If the patient wanted an iPhone app diagnosis, they would have just stayed home! They could have easily figured out what was wrong with them just by going on WebMD. They didn’t need to spend so much on a doctor’s appointment.

Proud dad

Small talk and conversation are normal in a doctor’s office. This is especially true when you’re in for regular check-ups, and you’ve known your doctor for a while. But some patients just want to get in and get out without much talking.

Some doctors, however, prefer the opposite. It can be a pretty draining day for them, having to see so many people and bear the weight of their illnesses. This doctor just wants to lighten the mood and show off his kids. It’s not weird at all. It’s actually very wholesome!

Time is of the essence

It’s completely normal to be late for a doctor’s appointment. Everybody has those days when traffic is just a little worse than usual, or the kids refused to get ready to leave the house. Most times, even doctors are late to their own calls. But not this one.

Maybe this doctor has a lot on his plate too. Maybe he has his next patient coming in 15 minutes, and this person’s tardiness is messing up his entire schedule. But we admit, it’s a little unusual for a doctor to be phoning up the patient asking where they are.

Ill timing

As we’ve said before, procedures at the doctor’s can be invasive at times. It’s really not the time for small talk when someone is poking examination tools inside your private parts. It’s definitely not the time to be telling jokes.

After a colon exam where the doctor kept telling jokes, this Twitter user probably just wanted to curl up in a ball and cease to exist. We sincerely hope that the jokes weren’t anything to do with colons or digestion.

Little, Wayne

We’re not sure why this Twitter user hashtagged this story with #mydoctorisweird. Again, it’s one of those things where the doctor might have a weird name but might not actually be weird. He didn’t ask to be named Wayne Little!

It’s actually kind of cool to be prescribed medicine by Little Wayne. It’s definitely a good story to tell over the dinner table or at parties. “Yeah, Lil’ Wayne prescribes my meds for me. Don’t believe me? I have proof.”

Stop faking

When you’ve been a pediatrician for many years, you know babies and children’s behavior like the back of your hand. You know what makes them tick, what can make them happy. You can also tell when they’re faking their tantrums.

This pediatrician isn’t weird. They just have that much experience with babies. The baby stopped crying upon the “stop faking” command, didn’t she? We don’t think this is weird behavior. We think it’s a superpower. How can we learn how to do that?!

You should switch doctors

We’re getting anxious just reading this next tweet. This Twitter user should probably just switch to a new doctor, pronto. It doesn’t look like this one is very capable of any competent diagnosis. They can’t even tell the patient’s gender!

You don’t have to be a doctor to know that testicular cancer is only possible in people with testicles. This Twitter user clearly does not have any. What was up with this doctor during this appointment? Somebody should report this.

Excuse me, Captain Obvious

Sometimes doctors would ask you general questions about your symptoms to get a clearer sense of what you may have. They would ask things like “How long has this been happening?” or, “Is it a dry cough or a chesty cough?”

When a patient’s throat is bleeding because they’ve been coughing so hard, you can safely assume that it hurts. But this doctor just had to ask a question with a clear answer. Why even ask? If anything, it’s kind of annoying that he did!

Sneeze please

It’s normal for doctors to ask their patients to do certain things during their physical. Patients may be required to stand on a scale, for example. A common thing doctors ask of their patients is to cough while they listen to their lungs.

Everyone can cough on command. But sneezing is a completely involuntary bodily movement! The only way anyone will sneeze on command is if they are an actor and the particular scene they are doing requires the character to sneeze. Even then, it’s a pretend sneeze.

The irony

Anesthetics are meant to ensure patients won’t feel pain while they’re undergoing surgery. The doctors that administer anesthetics are called anesthesiologists, and they play a great part in easing the patient’s nerves before they go under. They are often chatty and friendly.

It’s kind of difficult to relax when the person telling you it’s going to be okay is a guy called Dr. Pain, though. “It’s not going to hurt; you’re not going to feel a thing,” says Dr. Pain. Not a very convincing situation.

Drawing conclusions out of nowhere

There should be a petition for doctors not to make small talk or crack jokes while doing invasive procedures. This kind of story is already recurring in this article, and we’re not even halfway through these tweets! Not everyone likes this kind of “comfort.”

No idea how this gyno was able to conclude that her patient was a people person. Was it something she found while digging around down there? Because we’re sure, it doesn’t work that way. This raises so many questions that we’re not sure we want to be answered.

The irony, part 2

Some people would rather medicate with herbal treatments and go to get acupuncture or a homeopathic doctor. They think that natural ingredients are better for the body than modern medicine, which utilizes ingredients that aren’t natural. But this sort of belief isn’t usually held by doctors.

Especially not when the doctor is an MD. An MD who is completely against modern medicine is almost unheard of. Imagine coming to this guy for help, and he prescribes you two different kinds of tea instead of pills. Sometimes, that’s fine, but not always.

Totally unrelated

This one has us laughing. Maybe this doctor was just having a hectic day. Maybe he mixed up his patients and thought that this Twitter user was the one who needed a urine test. Maybe we should stop justifying this guy’s actions and just shake our heads.

This patient must be so confused. What about their urine could solve their sinus infection? They’re two completely unrelated parts of the body! The logical follow-up question is: did they actually still provide a urine sample? We need a part 2 to this Tweet.

Personal bubble invasion

At this point, keeping a distance from others is almost a given. You can say this is especially required when you’re at the hospital because germs and viruses are floating around. But what happens when it’s your doctor who can’t keep their distance?

People who talk too close invade your personal bubble, and it’s never fun. No one likes it. What is so difficult about standing just three more steps away? Also, it’s like this doctor isn’t afraid of catching whatever his patient has.

Blowing bubbles

Everyone has their vices, and sometimes they decide to quit it. It’s always a difficult step trying to give up something like smoking. You can try several methods, like nicotine patches or chewing gum, when you have the urge to smoke.

Unfortunately for this patient, their doctor’s urge to smoke came while giving them their physical. It can be a little annoying to sit in a paper-thin robe in your doctor’s office while he chews loudly as he pokes and prods at your body.

Custom scrubs

Like most medical professions, doctors have certain uniforms they wear. Whether they’re scrubs or a doctor’s coat over their clothes, it is usually a pretty standard, monochrome outfit. But doctors are allowed to spice it up if they would like.

This doctor’s poop emoji scrubs caught the attention of one of his patients. Out of all the emojis, why that one? As a doctor, he really missed out on an opportunity to wear scrubs with the syringe emoji on them.

An unlikely reunion

The rewards of being a teacher come in the long run. Sometimes, the most problematic student ends up making something of themselves. Sometimes as a teacher, you live long enough to see them bloom. Or you bump into them at the doctors.

We’re not sure whether this Twitter user was indeed the nurse’s bio teacher. But wouldn’t it have been great if they were? It’s a little high school reunion! Of course, it would have been better if it didn’t happen at a hospital, but still.

This ain’t therapy

Is this person sure that they hobbled into the right doctor’s office? Or is the doctor on call just not at all interested in helping the patient with their ankle? Maybe this doctor is the one who needs a little therapy to talk about her feelings.

Don’t you just hate it when you expect to get your ankle healed but walk away with it still hurt anyway? Instead, you have a new burden to bear – the fact that your doctor now knows a little too much about your personal life.

The vampire doctor

Okay, we know this gimmick is probably meant as a joke. But if you’re someone who is absolutely terrified of needles and the sight of blood, then maybe you wouldn’t appreciate what this next doctor usually does to his patients.

Putting on plastic vampire teeth isn’t necessarily scary. It’s just plain weird and definitely not something patients need when they’re getting their blood drawn. And don’t even get us started about the hissing! That might just be the worst part of it.

Is it not obvious?

Doctors are supposed to be observant and looking for every detail to diagnose their patients properly. But they’re human, and sometimes they have their days when they’re not on their A-game. It’s good to be a little forgiving of them.

This OBGYN probably got his patients mixed up. Dealing with so many pregnancies and uterine issues can take a toll on you. Maybe he just didn’t read the patient’s file beforehand? We’re not trying to make excuses for him, but this isn’t exactly weird. Maybe he was just trying to make a joke!

Creeper

Wow, what a creeper! We would definitely switch doctors if this ever happened to us. Truly, women are subject to uncomfortable situations wherever they go, even in a setting like a doctor’s office. We just hope this guy isn’t talking about his dead wife.

We’re glad that this tweet says “old doctor,” meaning the patient chose to switch doctors. There’s no reason why we can’t ask to see someone else if it’s making us uncomfortable. We gotta fight for ourselves. Maybe all his patients left!

Living out Star Wars fantasies

The job of a doctor can be incredibly stressful and taxing. Sometimes, they just have to find a little magic in the mundane and let their inner child out. And sometimes, this looks like pretending to have a lightsaber battle while treating a patient’s wart.

We would be a little concerned if our doctor were behaving this way. We would probably think something’s a little askew up there if you catch our drift. But this guy is just trying to live his life and find some joy in his work.

Phew!

Perfect. Just the kind of words you want to come out of your doctor’s mouth when you come out of surgery. “You didn’t die! Wonderful!” It’s almost concerning how nonchalant this doctor was about his patient surviving. Maybe his humor is just off.

Okay, we know that there’s a possibility that he might be joking. But still. The fact that your patient could have died in that surgery is not exactly something they might want to hear! Some doctors just need a little bit more tact.

Hardy har, very funny

Trips to the dentist can be terrifying for some people. Lying back with your mouth open for a long period of time while someone pokes and prods in your mouth with sharp objects is a less than pleasant experience. We understand why some people hate it.

It also concerns when you find out that you need to have procedures done because dental is very expensive and rarely covered by insurance. So we can understand why this Twitter user didn’t appreciate the joke that his dentist made.

The answer is baths

Some doctors swear by certain medications or treatments. Like this Twitter user’s doctor, others save you the expenses and tell you to go home and have a bath. If only everything could be healed with a bath. We would be able to cure cancer.

This is kind of weird advice coming from a doctor. You would think he would prescribe you some pills, maybe ways in which to rest your injured limb or something. No one expects to go to the doctor’s and be told to take a bath.

Ew, gross

These are two things you never want to hear your doctor say when he’s examining your spider bite. Like it isn’t obvious enough that spider bites are gross. You don’t need your doctor to reinforce the disgust and the shame!

Sometimes doctors can lack the tactfulness needed to deliver bad news to the patient while still guarding their feelings. After a long hard day, we can imagine why this doctor would see a spider bite and just say the first thing that comes to mind.

Sassy intern

It’s bad enough that this Twitter user ended up at the hospital with appendicitis on Christmas day. They had to deal with a sassy intern too. While the patient was annoyed that they had to miss out on good food, the intern was probably annoyed they had to work on a holiday.

Still, there’s no reason for such sass and for taking it out on the patient. One day when this intern has worked their way up the medical career ladder, they will learn that this kind of attitude won’t fly. This is p[art of the job.

Times are tough

These days, it’s not enough if you’re only working one job. You need a side hustle also to help keep you afloat. Our guess is, that’s what this doctor is doing. They’re just trying to upsell a service to earn a little bit of extra cash on commission.

Unfortunately for this doctor, they weirded out the patient because of the inopportune timing they recommended this service. They should have waited, at least until the examination was over. The conversation after this might have been awkward. Keep this in mind when working that side hustle.

Punny

Don’t you just love it when your doctor makes a dad joke about removing part of your colon in surgery? You’re nervous about being laid on a cold table and cut open, and yet your doctor is laughing about it.

When doctors joke, they may think they’re trying to lighten the situation. While that may help for some, most patients would just want to get it over with. Having to sit there and let out a fake laugh could actually be more painful than the surgery.

Unconvincing

Everyone wants to go to a doctor that is trustworthy and accountable. While we all try our best not to judge a book by its cover, it sometimes just happens without realizing it. For example, if your doctor looked like Mr. Bean, you would immediately doubt his qualification.

We’re sure that this doctor is perfectly qualified and skilled to do his job. It’s just a little difficult when he not only looks like Mr. Bean but also talks and acts like him. Hard to take anyone like that seriously, let alone trust them with your health.

Existential crisis trigger

Nobody needs a reminder that they’re getting older. Aging is not something anyone looks forward to or physically enjoys. The responsibilities of being a proper adult are not exactly exciting. It’s definitely not a diagnosis you need from your doctor.

Of course, with age, health issues begin to arise. It’s truly just a sign that you’re getting older. But this doctor didn’t have to say it like that! Never bring up age to anyone. It can be a touchy subject!

Priorities

It’s always a good feeling when your doctor prioritizes you during the appointment. When they give you their full attention, you know that whatever it is that’s wrong with you, at least you have a trustworthy doctor who cares about you.

This is a bit rude, isn’t it? What could have popped up on Facebook that required immediate response? This patient could be in critical condition, and you’re just going to be on your phone? The disrespect and lack of prioritization!

The magic train

If you’ve ever been put under anesthetics for whatever procedure, you’ll know that it kind of feels like you’re drifting to sleep really quickly. It is actually a lowkey scary experience. But a good doctor can reassure you that you’ll be okay.

A good doctor might even say that they’ll see you on the other side when you wake. But not this doctor. Nope. Apparently, going under means boarding the “magic train,” whatever that is. Imagine that being the last words you hear.

All good

It’s always good to come out of a doctor’s exam and hear that everything’s fine with you. If you’ve been worried about your health, this good news can be enough to make you do a little dance and celebrate. But the last thing you want is to fist bump your doctor.

It’s like this doctor was congratulating the patient on having nothing wrong with his prostate. Fair enough, but maybe the fist bump is a little too much. You gotta still have that doctor-patient boundary after all. We’re not sure we would like this either.

Did not need to see that

Speaking of doctor-patient boundaries, here’s another instance where that boundary seems not to exist. Your doctor’s knowledge of your personal life only needs to be limited to what affects your health. You also don’t need to be let in on your doctor’s personal life.

It’s nobody’s business whether this doctor is a boxer, briefs, or thongs guy as long as he keeps it to himself. But now that his patient has seen his thong peeking through, things are never going to be the same. The patient now knows just a little bit too much.

Lost in translation

Cultural differences exist, even in the workplace. This mostly affects the way people communicate with each other. If they aren’t careful, they might end up unknowingly hurting others with their words. People may be a lot more sensitive than they’re used to.

Stereotypically in the States, southerners are seen as more polite, whereas people from around New York are more blunt or crass and are always in a hurry. This can get in communication between doctor and patient and can even cause some emotional damage.

Clumsy

Everybody makes mistakes. Everybody has those days where they had less sleep than usual, and everything is falling apart for them. They get easily agitated, clumsy, and sometimes even fall on their butts. This shouldn’t be considered weird; just human.

We hope this doctor was okay after the fall. If anything, she’s a doctor, and she’ll probably be able to treat whatever injury she sustained. The only thing that’s bruised might be her ego, as it is pretty embarrassing to fall on your backside in front of anyone.

Well that’s comforting

Any medicine you purchase will come with information like dosage, composition, and side effects. Most of the time, the side effects are fine print, causing most people not to notice it. But once you do, it can actually scare you off taking the meds entirely.

This patient probably called up their doctor to ensure that the meds prescribed are indeed safe to consume. But the way the doctor responded is less than comforting. It sounds almost nonchalant and dismissive as if the side effect of internal bleeding isn’t that big of a deal.

Judgmental doctor

When you walk into a doctor’s office, you don’t want them to start judging you for your life decisions. They’re only there to tell you what’s wrong and how you can treat it. The fact that this doctor judged the patient for moderate drinking is insane.

Even if the appointment had something to do with the effects of alcohol on the patient, this comment wouldn’t have been okay in any way. Women aren’t cheap dates just because they refuse to drink or drink only a moderate amount.