45 Outlandish Gardening Jobs That Call “Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder” Into Question

English novelist and poet Thomas Hardy once remarked that “To find beauty in ugliness is the province of the poet.” The gardeners in this article must be pretty well-read in that case, because the artistic visions on display here are questionable to say the least. Color us surprised when we learned that ugly gardening is quite a popular hobby. In fact, the Instagram page @Sh**Gardens has amassed a following in the hundreds of thousands!

Apparently, something about unsightly hedges and weirdly-repurposed everyday objects tickle people’s funny bones in a way that other things just can’t. Here we have collected 45 of our favorite examples of gardening jobs gone terribly wrong for your viewing enjoyment, because everyone knows that the funniest things are those that weren’t intended to be funny in the first place. Let’s begin!

The floss is strong with this one

We’ll hedge our bets here in saying that this particular dental surgeon has a real penchant for gardening! If you are wondering how he managed to get that shape, it’s because he bought this new electric garden trimmer. It happens to be very ‘cutting-hedge.’

However, do brace yourselves, as you might get the feeling of getting mooned because the arrangement looks like a row of bums from a different angle. But, there’s nothing to worry about as the dentist here knows the drill. He just likes to live life on the ‘hedge.’

Hair to be different

Can you believe the amount of effort and the level of patience that went into creating this magnificent grass braid? Rest assured, this is some real talent. Most of us would dye to learn how to braid like this.

Jokes and terrible puns aside, this is quite beautiful to look at. What a better place the world would be if we could stop getting in each other’s hair and instead channel that effort into creating something beautiful like this?

Guess who had too much root beer?

Putting aside the fact that this particular tree looks like Groot from Guardians of the Galaxy accidentally stepping on a live wire, there is real creativity within whoever thought to design this out of what was going to be a normal tree.

Even though it happens to be something that no one would want to run when going on a nightly stroll, you have to give credit where credit is due. We mean, people might say it looks bizarre, but it’s already paying for itself by keeping the burglars away.

That’s one way to make an hen-trance

How ingenious is this contraption right here? If you want to kill three birds with one seat, well, this is how you do it: 1) don’t pollute, 2) reuse old items, and 3) your chickens get a state-of-the-art door. Everyone is happy!

This is a perfect example that goes to show that even the most ludicrous–looking yard creations have their own unique aesthetic and artistic value. This guy thought to himself, “I’m going to wing this and see how it goes,” and he succeeded.

A garden full of zip

Looking at your garden, you are not quite sure if you were that clear with your instructions to the landscaping team. By wanting to “zip through the garden,” you meant you want to cross the garden quickly to get to the gate?

Who in their right mind would think that they would take a figure of speech literally? As it turns out, they definitely did, and now the man is left with a giant zipper pool in his garden. Well, at least there’s the publicity.

Top tyre creativitiy

This is one ingenious way to keep all those unwanted gatecrashers away for good. Imagine knocking on this person’s gate and letting yourself in because you had no response only to discover this monstrosity in his garden. Heart patients, beware!

We do mean it when we say that we admire the creative process which went into creating this tire serpent. A ‘serpentire’ if you will. Plus, not enough people recycle old tires. Instead, they just dump them in a landfill.

“Urine for a treat,” said Santa on NYE 2019

If one image can accurately sum up the year 2020 in its entirety, this would totally take the cake, hands down. No questions asked. Nobody in their wildest dreams expected a major pandemic like this. We guess we didn’t have 20/20 vision after all.

All in all, the pandemic taught us many things. It highlighted the importance of personal hygiene and the life-saving effect of vaccinations. It taught us how to prepare for the worst and what to expect when the things we rely on get shut down. Many lessons throughout!

Mind the dog(wood)

Oh, for the love of… let that poor log out of those chains. Chaining it up ol’ woody here won’t solve anything, you know. You have all this space for it to run around, play, and be free. You really can’t believe the lengths some people will go to, really!

All things aside, you should appreciate the property owner’s sense of humor. When they came across a log, they saw the opportunity, and they conquered it. We are a bit on the fence about that. However, it leads to a barrage of corny puns and jokes.

John Cena’s fence

One major question we have upon seeing this setup is whether the owners of the house walk up to the gate and open it to enter or not. It must be hard to squeeze in through that cramped-up opening. Or maybe it is a part of a fence that used to be there for a long time?

There must be a psychological aspect to this situation that we are not seeing. All jokes aside, what if potential intruders take a look at this and think, something is up! This doesn’t seem right and just goes away? In your dreams, probably.

Guess what shape made the cut

All that is missing from this large hedge trimming is a cup of tea because this is as English as it can get even though it looks like it took some pyramid-building level effort to clip this into shape, it kind of looks nice.

If the owners feel more enterprising than usual, they can cut out an entrance and cut some furniture out of the hedges as well. A proper eco-friendly house, so to speak. Plus, it looks ideal to stay dry if the odd rainfall catches up with you.

Brocolli-ary?

At first glance, it looks like they tried to cover the house with green bubble wrap. However, it looks like a surrealist take on topiaries. You have to admit the fact that it looks quite unique in its own way.

But, we feel sorry for the gardener who has the job of trimming this monthly. They are going to need something along the lines of a firetruck ladder to even think about reaching the top of this particular topiary.

Ain’t no fountain high enough…

We can all agree to the fact that this isn’t anything like the Bellagio fountains in Vegas or the Trevi Fountain in Italy, but does it need to be something grand like those two examples for it to be admired?

The answer is no! We mean, it might look tacky or silly, but it’s a fun take on a classic idea. Isn’t it innovation when you take something and think about presenting it in a way that’s unique? Such is the case with this fountain.

How to physically portray a hallucination

Looking at this place – which is actually a real place called Harper’s Topiary Garden in San Diego – one would be excused if they think that this is where Salvador Dali was actually born. Doesn’t it just explode into the scene like a firework?

See if you can make out the shapes of a surfer, a pyramid, a dinosaur, a whole zoo of animals, including an entire herd of elephants and a whale, and a Buddha, among many other ingenious creations. No wonder the owners take pride in showcasing this.

The very hungry hedge-pillar

Who gave H.P Lovecraft a free hand to design his own hedge? That looks like Thomas the Tank engine’s estranged brother, who recently escaped from a cult and is currently in shock from seeing some unexplainable and downright horrible things.

Why bother with Halloween decorations when you have this adorning the front of your property. Don’t worry about the kids. This will give the adults nightmares. Whoever had the idea of putting on googly eyes on this ‘hedge-strocity’ is someone to be on the lookout for.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year!

Ah! Here is something which showcases the true spirit of Christmas! To quote Haruki Murakami, “You make do with what you have. As you age, you learn even to be happy with what you have.’’ Isn’t that what this special time should be all about?

We just love the vibe that the trees are giving off by these creative decorations. They look very festive. Did the owners let the lack of snow be an obstacle for them to revel in the holiday spirit? No, they didn’t. They adapted the Christmas spirit to their surroundings.

Did someone say, “surreal?”

We guess the owner of this particular backyard couldn’t ‘chair’ less about what his neighbors think. And you know what, he’s absolutely right. If your creative juices flow to this extent, why not go ahead and make your backyard, well, simply unique?

There are vanishing chairs, which we think is quite neat, black chair ants – can’t be spiders as they have eight legs – which could drive someone up the wall if they’re caught unaware of what it really is, and some other chair which resembles a zebra with back pain. All in all, this is pretty entertaining.

In memoriam

Here lies a monument to all those who have fallen in the line of bargain shopping. It is dedicated to the memory of all those who went in search of a good deal on black Fridays and came out with a stronger will to always search for more bargains.

In a way, it kind of reflects on the modern culture of consumerism and capitalist value. Hey, who are we kidding here? To be honest, it really looks like something you would expect to find in a Call of Duty game.

For every Swing there is a season

We can’t imagine the kind of a ‘park-itecht’ who would even think of such a thing. This can’t get any more dangerous. Maybe the person had a mood swing during the design stage and thought this was the best way to minimize swing-related accidents.

Even looking at it can drive one up the wall. People who use this must have the ability to use the force to prevent them from crashing into the wall. Also, how on earth are you supposed to get the push to swing forward?

Lumos!

Every time someone walks by this small plot of land, their faces light up. Well, it’s because of the sheer number of lamps. We wonder if the owners had to plant the bulbs deep to get a bountiful crop like this!

Usually, we like to go light on the lamp jokes such as these. That’s because we like to keep you all in the dark to increase the suspense. See what we did there? Well, not without a light, you can’t!

Bridge to terror-bithia

It’s in places such as these that you encounter the unthinkable. Questions like, “What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?” Is the question based on an African or a European Swallow? Help us out here! We don’t know.

What is the answer to the question? Well, for a European unladen swallow, the airspeed velocity is about 24 miles per hour. Can’t wrap your head around the answer? Well, too bad. You’re on a bridge, so get over it.

Hey look! A hedgeback

Recycling is always a positive thing. So is up-cycling. Both these concepts must and should be implemented if we care about saving the environment. But, even the noblest of ideas can be stretched to the point which can make us go hmmm…

At the end of the day, this person built this creation off of a Renault 5, not a Shelby or a Mustang, so we don’t lose much sleep over it. But to use it as a flowerpot? Come on, people. Let’s be reasonable here.

Kind of like the Kool-Aid ad but with a cactus

Now there are two things that we observed in this very penetrating image. 1) The cactus looks like it’s a saguaro, a highly protected species with a lifespan of 150+ years. And, a well-grown one is quite heavy, as you can see here.

2) It’s somewhat evident that the wall here is not built according to regulations. If it were, there would not be a recreation of the “Here’s Johnny!” scene from the movie The Shining starring a cactus and a wall.

Mother, why do you cry?

The owners happen to have hired Igor and Frankenstein’s monster to do their topiary. Which quite accurately explains the tortured, demented soul motif which they were most probably going for here. And, guess what? It seems to have worked out pretty well!

This kind of reminds us of the weeping angels from Doctor Who. Don’t blink if you value your life until you get to the front door. Do not break eye contact. Can you even imagine coming drunk to this house just to be greeted by these two? Yeesh!

When your gardner happens to be a ghibli-culturist

We suggest you save this particular photo. Because one day, if you happen to hear anyone say that nothing can be cute and creepy at the same time, you can show them this image. Don’t get us wrong. We absolutely adore Studio Ghibli movies.

However, this is not the kind of thing you want to stumble upon in a dimly lit time of the day. The hidden benefit of this topiary is that if you’re ever late for something, the Catbus might appear and take you there!

What kind of fertilizer do these people use?

It seems like Spongebob moved houses without telling anyone. Well, it’s time to change the lyrics to “Who lives in a pineapple over the sea?” seeing he’s chosen real estate over land. Actually, what looks like a pineapple here is actually a palm tree.

Looking at this, it kind of makes us want to have a piña colada and get caught in the rain. Sure, we’re not that into yoga since we have something so tropical outside our windows, and we just can’t resist. It’s like this offers an escape, and we all need one…

How you doin’, Hutt stuff?

Out of all the possible artistic designs which could have been gone into filling this space, they went with this eldritch creature. It looks like it won’t stop telling the people who visit here to bring Han Solo to him.

What’s with that frustrated look on its face? It looks like it is having a nap after a large meal while keeping an antenna tuned to catch the latest gossip. Plus, the color palette looks like the stages of decay of a pumpkin!

The french tobacco farm

While it looks like someone was buried in the ground while smoking a cigarette, in its own way, this can pass for a beauty parlor advertisement. A French beauty parlor, that is, judging by the way the cigarette is held.

However, the real question that was bugging us as we saw this “setup” was looking for the thumb. Five fingers and no thumb? Unless they had the intention to recreate the hand of Rugen from The Princess Bride, which actually makes sense.

You can’t drown if there’s no water…

This particular pool looks absolutely disgusting with that sickening coat of algae and other garbage…wait! It has been filled with dirt. Someone spent a lot of money to build a pool only to pool their resources to fill it up with dirt.

It looks like the person in question took the phrase “diving into nature” quite literally. Rest assured, you will be diving into the emergency ward if you attempt that here. If only the ladders were a bit higher, they could have done some pool-ups.

You raise me up…!

This is a reason why you should not take things literally and understand the context beforehand. In John 20:15, when Mary Magdalene mistakes the resurrected Christ for a Gardner, it doesn’t imply that he is actually a Gardner! But these folks took that quite literally!

But, you have to admit the effort that went into creating this. It’s not an easy task to take shears and emboss letters out of a topiary if you don’t know what you are doing. We can only hope that this stays up!

Car-dening

On paper, it looks charming. Your own mini garden with three cacti in a symmetrical position, another small succulent, and a small plant. If you get stuck in traffic, you can use an eyedropper to water the plants to pass the time. Ahh, serenity!

Sarcasm aside, we do hope that this is not an actual setup on a vehicle that is currently being used. On the unfortunate chance you experience a vehicular collision, the EMTs will have to pluck the cacti from your face.

Big brother is watching you grow

We do share certain similarities with plants, like the fact that plants respond quite well towards positive stimuli. If you take time to talk to your plant, maybe even sing to it, it reacts to the positive vibes and grows well and strong.

But, we as humans tend to go overboard most of the time, resulting in scenarios like this. It’s one thing caring for your plants, but to set up a surveillance ring like this is a bit exaggerated. St. Francis of a CCTV, help us!

Guess they received an offer they cannot refuse

When the owners expected the prospective buyers to the open house, they were hopeful. And when the buyers mentioned being happy to propose an excellent offer, the owners thought they actually heard cash register sounds. What a turn of events!

The owners didn’t have to wait long to see what the offer really was. What would the neighbors think? They better rein this scandal in before it stirrups unwanted trouble. Just when the owners thought they could finally be financially stable, this happens.

Yeah – we went for a kitchen motif! How did you notice?

Why throw away your old sink, microwave, and dishwasher when you can tap into your artistic side and turn them into pots? Let that idea sink in. We mean, that’s what these people executed. Plus, that microwave in the center really frames that cactus!

No, we are not joking here. Just like the toilet seat ‘hen-trance’ and the Renault 5 shrubbery we encountered, this is a very productive way of using old appliances without just dumping them somewhere. Also, just like Tupac’s last album, all eyes will definitely be on this setting.

Cue Stranger Things theme

We finally know where the Byers moved houses after the incidents that happened in the third season occurred. We love how Will is trying to confront his demons by giving the hedge a total shadow king makeover. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!

But Joyce insists that Will is going through another dinosaur phase. Well, if you look at it from that perspective, it kind of looks like a herd of brachiosaurus huddling up together to have a chat about something. Whatever the Byers went for, it looks unique!

An introvert’s wet dream

Peace and calm. If there are two attributes that this particular image symbolizes, it’s those two. The moment you step outside, you’re surrounded by beautiful pine trees with the air completely saturated with the delicious smell of pine resin…

But the real reason for this particular fencing option is not that blissful. The story is that the owner of this particular plot of land planted the trees this way to drive the owners out. It turns out this introvert haven was born out of a land dispute.

Opposite day

Hey, look! We finally found the place Carrie stopped for a rest before picking up her pace. Even though it looks like it would make Stephen King’s day, it also happens to be one of the only known examples of a visual oxymoron.

An oxymoron is a word or a set of words that contradicts itself. Some examples are “Pretty ugly, awfully good, living dead” and many more. So, you get what we meant by a visual oxymoron by taking a casual glance at this cement ledge.

When the gummies finally kick in

Meet Oscar, the grouch’s hipster brother, Tango. He was recently nominated and won the award for the best top(iary) knot category. Tango likes to embrace cultures as well hence the nod towards historical Japan with the partially blackened teeth.

What makes Tango distinct is his permanent look of surprise. That look you see on him is the same face we make when we forget a birthday or an anniversary. Or, it’s possible that this particular topiary is becoming self-aware.

(Shrub)urban surveillance

What most people don’t know is that this particular spy shrub inspired Sting’s band The Police to pen the hit song Every Breath You Take. When they say, “Every step you take, I’ll be watching you,” it’s based on actual experience from this next contraption.

The spy shrub is air-conditioned and spacious enough for one person at a time and comes with a pull-up door when you want to make that dramatic entrance. Burglars and kids who sneak out of their houses, beware. Your sneaking-out days are over!

How to break the ice at a party 101

As soon as they saw it, the house owners knew that they had hit the point of ‘snow return.’ When they cornered the sculptor to give him a piece of their mind, that’s when they shed light on the misunderstanding.

When the sculptor heard the request for a Jock Frost, he was skeptical at first. Only at the delivery did he know that they really wanted a Jack Frost. The moral here is always to double-check every detail in a job, no matter how sure you are.

Port-a-(Pot)ties

When you told your cab to drop you off at flushing meadows, this is not what you had in mind. Next time, try for an Uber or Lyft. Oh great! There’s no cell phone reception here! Cabs shouldn’t just dump their passengers near abandoned toilets and take off!

The more we look at this bizarre collection, we can agree to the fact that this kind of blends in with the surroundings. We’re not sure of the exact reason why, but looking at an ornamental plant being planted in a ceramic toilet isn’t the biggest worry in these times.

My little Rambrony

It kind of looks like the Hulk’s health-conscious cousin from the ’80s, Sulk. He totally has the aesthetic: olive skin, red sweatband, deep purple undergarments, knee pads, and booties. You can pick him up and leave him at the Met Gala, and he’ll definitely steal the show.

Plus, look at his cute little pony companion! With his rebar rifle, he will surely strike the fear of God into any crook or burglar that even dreams of breaking into your house. In the end, it pays for itself by being an impromptu guardian of sorts.

(Meadow)sa

What a set of curly locks this lady has here! Look at that succulent hair. It looks absolutely gorgeous and definitely one of a kind! We wonder if she is using natural herbal products and essential oils to keep them in such beautiful condition!

Now, this is a prime example of peak creativity. We know we would love to have this as a centerpiece in our gardens! How exactly it made the cut to be featured as s*** is beyond us because this is lit!

(Fan)sies and Fan Flowers

Ahh! Nothing beats waking up in the morning and going into your garden with your morning coffee in hand while taking in a long, hot sip of coffee and looking at the beauty you created, which is your own garden. Is this what true bliss is?

As your eyes scan the garden, they fall on the newly bloomed table ‘fan-drangeas,’ pedestal ‘fan-sies,’ and the fragrant fan flowers which really live up to their name. It’s a beautiful summer’s day, and butterflies are everywhere. It’s simply ‘fan-tastic!’

Haven’t you heard? Out is the new in!

When we say we appreciate the blurring of the lines between indoor and outdoor dualism, we mean it. But that does not mean we want a glass-plated kitchen floor with a view of the ground below. A kitchen isn’t the place to experiment with this, you know.

The point we are trying to make is that all is novel, artistic, and bold until someone drops a heavy skillet on the glass floor. For all we know, we’ll have to walk over glass shards like the scene in Die Hard.

Prevention is better than a cure

What a thoughtful message from a hedge, which looks like Pacman if he received a dementor’s kiss – of all places, encouraging us to be safe in these desperate times. The best time to adopt good safety standards is now!

Whatever is said and done, here is someone who takes his job ‘shear-iously’ as trimming hedges is not an easy task. Especially if you want to achieve that smooth texture. We’re looking at some real professional artistry here, folks!